((Nick Galifianakis for The Post))

Does ‘I want to see other people’ mean it’s a cheat accompli?

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared June 8, 2012.

Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend of five years recently gave me the dreaded “I want to see other people” line. Talking to my friends, most agree that it means, “I’m already seeing someone else, or have one in mind.”

I never fooled around on her but was accused of it several times. My experience over the years is that the one accusing the innocent party is usually the one fooling around; you know, the best defense is a good offense. She was going to college and was struggling with classes and spent many weekends “studying.” I was never anything but supportive of her and her endeavors, always encouraging her and never in any way held her back.

She has low self-esteem and says her ex-husband was abusive — mentally, not physically. She always compares herself to other women and always she sees herself coming up short, and I always had to boost her ego.

So what do your readers think about this whole thing? Is “seeing other people” code for “I already am”? And is the accuser always the one doing wrong?

— Michigan

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