She doubted her grandkid’s paternity. So she picked up a DNA test. Enjoy this column from the archives, originally published August 2, 2024. Dear Carolyn: My son has all but cut connections with me, although I am allowed monitored FaceTime with his child, my delightful young granddaughter. A year or so ago when I was visiting, I had a DNA test swab with me and asked her to supply the saliva. The good news is, it turns out she is indeed my granddaughter, although unlike all the other grandkids, she looks nothing like any of the families on my side. She looks like a clone of her mother and a lot like her half brother from a different father. The results of this test leaked out via another family member, and there was a lot of anger by the mother that I doubted her faithfulness. I did apologize, although I really wanted to know the results. My apology was not accepted as good enough, nor was it directly to the mother. Before I could write a more direct apology — which would’ve been insincere — the mom wrote me several scathing emails and I am no longer welcome in their home. It’s getting tougher and tougher to even have phone calls with my son and granddaughter. Meanwhile, this same son is truly callous, not remembering or celebrating my birthdays, Mother’s Day, the anniversary of his dad’s death or our anniversary. He is, however, always happy to ask for and accept extra money. Do I give up? Just get a therapist so I can get beyond being so hurt and left out? There is no apology that will ever be good enough, and truthfully, I wanted to know, while I am living, if my son was actually the father of this child. The mother and I cannot be reconciled. Any ideas? — Grammie From Afar Introducing Say More, a new advice column from The Washington Post. Carolyn’s been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. | 
