Ever since 40, my birthday depresses me. Give advice to this Carolyn Hax reader question. Dear Carolyn: My birthday is tomorrow, and ever since I made 40, I get in a major funk leading up to the day. In theory I don’t care about my age; I plan on staying young at heart, trying new things, keeping my body moving, etc., for years to come. I didn’t even realize it was tied to my birthday until it happened three years in a row. I accept the down days for what they are — just a temporary roll in the ditch — but wonder if there’s a better way to deal with that. This is the first year I’ve been on meds for my years-long recurring depressive episodes, and it still happened. Yesterday I could barely get out of bed. In the past I used to treat my birthday as a template for the rest of the year. I’d do things that light me up and make me feel alive. Where did that enthusiasm go? I admit it has been hard to live the reality of something I’ve only understood in theory before, that age comes for us all no matter how young at heart we are, that you have to work twice as hard to be half as strong/fast/in shape, and that until the day I die I’m in a race against calcification, mentally and physically. (Cue all the seniors in the chat thinking, “Babygirl, get over yourself; talk to me after you’re 70!”) I thank God for life every day, or try to, so I’m embarrassed to fall into self-pity around my birthday. What a cliche! Once the birthday passes, I get over it and move on. But can you or the nuts help me think of ways to reframe this? — Birthday Blues Introducing Say More, a new advice column from The Washington Post. Carolyn’s been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. |
