Does she have to share pregnancy experience with her cheating ex? Dear Carolyn: Four months ago, my partner started cheating on me. I found out a month later and immediately ended the relationship. He was upset about getting caught but not deeply remorseful, and the woman he cheated with is still in his life (though I don’t think they are going to get together). A week after breaking up and blocking his number, I found out I was pregnant. This was not exactly UNplanned. I am 36 and we pulled the goalie a while ago, feeling some time pressure. Our thinking was that we would get married soon regardless, sooner if I happened to get pregnant. I contacted him with the news. He asked if I want to get back together, which I considered, but no. The trust is gone. Then he asked if I want to end the pregnancy. Absolutely no. I am 17 weeks now and so attached to this baby. My ex is very upset, because he wanted to be a father and wants to be involved. I shared ultrasound photos with him, but then he was upset because I didn’t invite him to the appointment. He has called, crying, to ask if he can come over and rub my belly (he swears this is all he wants). I do not want to be touched by him because I’m too angry, but I can’t decide whether this is unfair. We will co-parent in some way and have set up counseling to start planning for it, but do I have to involve him in the pregnancy too? It has turned out to be a much more tender and vulnerable experience than I had expected, and I wanted to share that with him but not under these circumstances. — Doesn’t Want Belly Rubs From a Cheater Introducing Say More, a new advice column from The Washington Post. Carolyn’s been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. | 
