| Dear Carolyn: I believe in dealing with problems by heading them off before they start. I’m my dad’s only child and my stepmom has no children, so I know their problems as they age will fall on me. When my dad retired, I insisted on two things for him that I know can prevent issues as you age: activity and engagement. Five years later he plays pickleball, volunteers two days a week, has lunch with his ex-colleagues at least weekly and takes my son to soccer practice. My stepmother, on the other hand, insists she’s fine since she still works part time as a graphic designer, runs almost daily, walks her dog and sees a couple of friends regularly. The problem is that we all know AI will soon put all graphic artists out of business, she won’t be running long after she hits 70, and she sees these friends at most once a month. That leaves walking her dog as her long-term plan for old age. Not good on either the engagement or activity front. No matter how hard I try, she isn’t interested in golf, tennis or even pickleball. She won’t volunteer or make new friends, and her engagement with my son is mostly superficial. How do I get through to her that she’s headed for disaster? — Trying Carolyn’s been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. | 
