How to get an ex back after she abruptly decides to break up?
Carolyn: How do you get an ex back who has done a 180 and completely turned cold? My ex and I had a committed, mutually affirming relationship for eight years. Then, on a random Tuesday, minutes after she walked out of a counseling appointment, I got a call from the parking lot telling me it was over. It all ran contrary to the person I know, who was a delightful communicator and connector mindful of others’ feelings.
My ex had experienced some recent major stress when she found out she couldn’t have children. We never had a major argument, and I have complete confidence in her faithfulness. I just wonder if the stress of the infertility news made her make a rash decision when it came to our relationship. Maybe I was a reminder of that lost chance. Truth is, she was my person, whether or not she could have children.
So the question is: What do you do when you want an ex back and they have gone cold and distant? She isn’t acting like herself. She did reach out on our anniversary by text … while taking the tone-deaf step of trying to coordinate when I could get my stuff back on that special day. That hurt.
It has now been four months. Is the better strategy to give her time to process? What does a well-intentioned person do to get someone back who is stressed more than ever? I am convinced the same person I have known is in there, but I need to figure out how to make an argument that resonates in her world when communication has gotten ice cold.
