| Dear Carolyn: I’m in my early 40s, divorced, no children and really happy. I’m employed at one of the more prestigious companies in the area and I’m on the board of directors for my state professional organization. I do yoga and recently took up cardio kickboxing with my 24-year-old niece. After several disasters I decided to give up online dating because it doesn’t seem worth it. No one needs to know about this, but I’m in a friends-with-benefits thing with my ex. It works well for us. My mom has been worried since my divorce five years ago that I’ll turn into a “crazy cat lady,” since I foster kittens for a local rescue. She’s desperate to see me coupled up again. When I told her I deleted my profile from all dating sites, she started crying that her worst fears had come true. My sister always used to try to reason with my mom, but this time she scolded me for giving up. When I told them I’m content and happy and don’t care if I ever have a long-term relationship again, they both freaked out, saying I was sick and needed therapy. I’m used to my mom being this way but so hurt that my sister joined in. She started shouting at me that I can’t have her kids and they wouldn’t be taking care of me in my old age. I never planned for that and wouldn’t even want it. Is there anything wrong with stepping back from dating and being happy with where I am in life? Should I try to talk to my sister or just let this go, knowing I have to live with their extreme disapproval? — Surprised and Hurt Carolyn’s been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. |