Wife’s meetup with old flame gives him a ‘bad feeling’ Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared July 15, 2012. Dear Carolyn: Here’s the basic version of the story: Guy meets Girl in D.C., pursues her for a few years, they date and move out of the area together. Guy moves in with Girl. After a year or so, Girl goes to a relative’s wedding without Guy. Three months later, Guy happens on a stack of passionate love letters written by a Man whom girl met at wedding. When confronted she admits, says there was no physical relationship begun at the wedding, but he will be coming up so they can spend a weekend together and she can “figure things out.” Guy understands and agrees, but it takes a toll on him. Girl has passionate romantic weekend and decides she does not want to be with the Man From the Wedding, and cuts it off when he comes and tries to visit her for a second time — won’t even see him. Guy and Girl get married, have two kids and move back to D.C. Twenty years later, 18 of them married, the Man From the Wedding asks Girl to connect on a professional networking site. Girl ponders for a week, then tells Guy he has been in touch and wants to get together. He is now married with many children and in a career change. Girl is successful in career related to his, so he wants to have coffee and catch up, and get advice about their shared careers and about starting a business. Guy thinks it is a bad idea. Girl needs to meet with him, she says, to be courageous and not run from her fears. Guy asks why she needs to open the door that has been shut tightly for all these years. Girl feels the need. What should Guy do? He trusts his wife but has a bad feeling about the whole thing. — D. Introducing Say More, a new advice column from The Washington Post. Carolyn’s been writing her advice column for two decades. Explore the archives below. | 
